Colagem: Claudio Brites
Sex and love are two different things.
You can love someone, without ever having sex with them. You love your mother, your father, your sisters, brothers, children. And there is no sex in these relationships.
You can love someone, even erotically, without ever having sex with them fully. Love is about making a decision, and deciding for that person, whether he or she is healthy or sick, standing up or lying in bed, that love is not about their body, but about them, beyond the body.
Love is a decision, a set of commitments that you make daily. This may not be about the emotional, affective feeling. You can nurture the affection for another person. You can have sex with a third one. Even though you love that first one.
This is what the Judeo-Christian society has done to our heads. It has infantilized us and made us not understand the complexity of relationships.
Love, real love, is something very strong. It is perennial. It needs to be seen as isolated, it does not depend on affection, nor sex. So, choose love in the most essential relationships of your life.
Because affection is fluid.
And sex you can buy.
You can buy it with money. Sex is a product.
Love is not.
Sex you have with those who, after two or so messages, might stay for a night in bed, or have a quickie in the parking lot. Then you put on your clothes, depart with gratitude for the experience, and life goes on.
Affection is for those you idealize, but one day that dream fades, and each one follows their own path.
Love is for those who, when they know you are dead, run to the funeral and hold one of the four handles of your coffin. Make sure you have at least four people who love you. Because a coffin needs four people.
Remember the Blackstreet’s song: Money can’t buy me love…